Relationships today have become more technical, people just don’t have the time to for dating like they used to and let’s face it most aren’t honest about themselves until the relationship has become serious. Most pretend to have similar hobbies and make false promises they don’t intend to keep once married.
Women and men today understand exactly what type of a relationship they are searching for and have no problem putting that into a contract. A “Love Contract” is what it’s being referred to and some are considering it a norm but are they legal and can they withstand the legal system when the time comes to settle a dispute in court.
A contract regardless of the content is still a binding contract, but most don’t believe so. This latest trend has grown in popularity in the west coast and is slowly making its way to the east coast but will it have the same affect.
SANTA MONICA (CBSLA.com) — So-called “love contracts” between couples, or written agreements that detail specific promises partners make to each other in a relationship, are growing in popularity, but they may have no legal standing.
Toni Mantus and Gregg Sullivan said they hired an attorney to draft their contract, which breaks down how much time they’ll devote to shared hobbies and how often they will have sex.
“I promise that our date night is gonna be a weekend date and our sex life stays active,” said Toni. “It’s nice to have a contract and say, ‘Look, we did agree to this.’
Gregg said he even made promises about how much weight he can gain and how many times he’ll visit the gym. “I do that for myself to be the best man I can be for her,” he said.
Suzanne Pelka, a West Los Angeles sex therapist, said promising sex isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. “The more they feel like they’re doing this out of obligation, the less likely they’re going to want to have sex with you and the less good the sex is gonna be,” she said. “It’s really this false sense of control that we have because we don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow.”
Attorney Brian Kramer said he often gets requests for couple agreements, but told CBS2’s Suzie Suh that a person can’t regulate another person’s conduct under California law.
“You can regulate property, you can regulate support,” he said.
Suh reported that in the end, a person can’t take the “love contracts” to court if one half of a couple falls short of something they said they would do.
Kramer said, “You can’t do that in a prenuptial agreement and if you want a side agreement between the two of you, that’s fine, but you’re potentially jeopardizing the entire agreement.”
Kathie and Paul Atkins, who have been married for 33 years, said they don’t feel comfortable inking their intimacy.
“I personally wouldn’t want to be held to a piece of paper to make him want to be with me,” said Kathie.
Paul said, “I think if you feel the need to draw up a contract it’s because you haven’t taken the time to earn the other person’s trust.”
Love is something that binds two people together in their hearts not on paper. If it doesn’t come naturally to both, there’s no contract in the world that will work! Take the time to learn about each other and the things you both love. If your significant other loves you, then he’ll love the things that make you happy and will want to join you. A forceful contract will only complicate the situation if you need to constantly take it out and point out the obvious. Let your relationship develop naturally, if there’s genuine love and understanding, it will last a lifetime.