Article written by: Megan Gladwell
Recently, I consulted a panel of experts (well, my sisters) on the things we don’t tell our husbands. After all, a happy marriage can contain a tiny aura of mystery. Sharing the big stuff is a must, but it’s better to keep under wraps some of the inconsequential.
For example, your husband may be better off not knowing:
1. How much you spent on your new shoes
If you stay within your agreed budget and have the funds to splurge now and then, your husband may be happier not knowing how much you’ve spent. There are certain times that ignorance is bliss.
2. The odd places you shave
No one needs to know the specifics of your personal grooming, even the person closest to you. Maybe you shave the hair on your big toes. Better to let your spouse think your feet are naturally smooth and pretty.
3. Your sister thinks he’s nerdy
If something hurtful is said about your husband, don’t share it. Your role as a spouse is to love and uplift your partner. If you hear something negative or critical about him, whether from a family member, friend or coworker, don’t pass it on.
4. When your kids say, “Don’t tell Dad!”
It’s OK to indulge your kids at times in the little things. You can use your discretion in bending the small rules. Your kids need to see your playful side, and agreeing to “not tell Dad” can make for a fun conspiracy. Just make sure you don’t negotiate the important rules.
5. Some of your dreams are on the wild side
We all experience random dreams, and most dreams don’t mean anything at all. Trying to explain and justify the gibberish of your dreams isn’t worth the effort.
6. How many boys you’ve kissed
There is no need to dredge up the particulars of your past love life. Even if you and your husband are comfortable sharing such details, discussing your past romances won’t do much to enrich and strengthen your marriage.
7. He doesn’t look like he did 20 years ago
Maybe your husband has grown paunchy, or grey hairs dot the top of his head. Maybe his beloved, worn-out T-shirt would look better in the trash. Don’t nitpick the small things. Cherish him the way he is now.
If you own a second home in France, or you’re severely allergic to milk, or you were previously married, disclose those details! But don’t feel obligated to share every little thing with your husband. While honesty and openness in a marriage are vital, some of the small stuff is better left unsaid.
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