There are all kinds of reasons why your hubby may not be his usual, cheery self. But sometimes you can’t help but wonder if you have something to do with his solemn mood. To help you know, here are 10 of the most common complaints of unhappy husbands:
1. “She thinks she has me all figured out”
Throughout your marriage, you should be constantly getting to know each other. No one is the same today as they were yesterday. You should be growing and learning together. Your husband wants you to try to learn more and more about him. Once you stop being interested in getting to know him, he will think that you are simply bored of him.
2. “She’s the mother and the father to our kids”
Sometimes it is hard to let your husband tackle some of the children’s conflicts, but not allowing him to be a part of the process is neglecting his role as a parent, as well as his opportunity to develop a healthy relationship with his children.
3. “We aren’t romantic anymore”
The sweet gestures that started when you first got married have diminished. You may not see this as a big deal, but to your husband this may mean a lot more. Try to spice things up a bit and plan a romantic date for your husband. Remind him of what he means to you.
4. “We stopped talking to each other about each other”
When the children are in bed, do you talk to each other? And not about money, tomorrow’s plans or what needs to get done in the house. Your husband fell in love with you because of your likes, dislikes, hobbies, quirks, intelligence and so many other qualities that you may be avoiding with a pile of laundry and a mop. Talk about politics. Talk about how you miss softball. Ask him to play a game with you. Keep him interested by talking to him like he is your loving spouse and not just the father of your babies.
5. “We don’t make decisions together anymore”
You think he is too busy to care about whether you let your child go to a party, or what kind of milk to buy. But leaving him out of even the smallest decisions can leave him feeling out of place in the family.
6. “She never listens to me”
Even if his story is boring and taking over an hour to explain, listen. No matter how many times he has told you the same story, listen. Basketball may not be your favorite sport, but if he wants to share a clip with you, watch it. Husbands want to be heard just as much as wives do, and you both deserve that from one another.
7. “I wish she’d appreciate me a little more”
While you are running the household and taking care of the chores and the kids, your husband is trying to get your attention. He has been working long hours to provide a steady income for you because he knows money stresses you out. He stayed up late doing the laundry and getting the kids’ lunches packed because he knows you’d like a break some mornings. He does that all expecting nothing in return — but a “Thank you” would be nice. If your husband isn’t happy, look at what he has done for you lately. Have you thanked him for his hard work? Can you return the favor?
8. “We are never intimate with one another”
You and your husband deserve an equal say in your marriage. One person should not be the one to decide when — and if — you are going to have sex. Often, a lack of sex can start a pattern of disappointment within a marriage. This can then result in a need for marriage counseling.
9. “She’s so grumpy”
Have you been less than kind lately? Your tone of voice says a lot about the way you feel. If your tone has not been very light and fun, then he may feel you are displeased with him. When he tries to bring up concerns with you, know that it is not to pick at your flaws. Getting defensive and throwing blame is not going to help the situation. Let him feel like he can come to you with his concerns.
10. “She nags me”
Although he wants to help you, he also wants to feel more like a husband than a servant. Asking him as soon as he gets home from work to fix 10 different things will likely not put him in a great mood.
If you are worried about your husband’s happiness, don’t panic. Look at his behavior and discover what you can do to uplift him. When you married him you made a commitment to love him in times of hardship, like these.
Talk to him. Express your love for him in word and action. He needs you now more than ever.